My Top 14 Albums of 2014 (And Why I Should Dislike All of Them)

Most people reading this will only be personal connections of some kind. I haven't been doing much of any kind of writing lately but I put this up. Furthermore, I'm no longer proud of the content I have currently, and as you're probably aware the site looks like crap and I don't even own the domain name anymore. So I really don't want too many people seeing this. For those of you shaking your head or wishing I was putting out something more: I still have a lot to say and I will be puking it out soon. I have pages of outlines and some timetables that are very ambitious given my current state. It's time to channel me some Ben Franklin. I'll be eating right, sleeping right, getting in some vigorous exercise, and of course, grinding out some verbage every day. But first, allow me to impose my musical tastes on you one more time.

14) Cynic - Kindly Bent to Free Us
Buncha shoegazing jerk-offs!
13) Lake Street Dive - Bad Self Portraits
There are hundreds of bands of this prominence and quality in America and I just happened to endorse the one I saw at Hardly Strictly. What a lazy fuck.
12) Phish - Fuego
Phish is a band for scoffing at and nothing else
11) Davenport Cabinet - Damned Renegades
Overly sympathetic to a sidekick's side project. (sidekickprojekt?)
10) Royal Blood - Royal Blood
You could get the same experience hanging around a Guitar Center on a Saturday afternoon.
9) Opeth - Pale Communion
"It's not even real Opeth."
8) Umphrey's McGee - Similar Skin
B(r)and loyalty. They could make an album of chickens being strangled by guitar strings and I would still like it.
7) Elbow - The Takeoff and Landing of Everything
Radiohead for grannies and nannies.
6) TV on the Radio - Seeds
 I'm well aware that I' supposed to scoff at everything past Return to Cookie Mountain and I done fucked up here.
5) Young The Giant - Mind Over Matter
It's basically boring pop music for suburban whitegirls.
4) Crosses - Crosses
Nauseating garbage.
3) Aphex Twin - Syro
"You goddam shill, you don't even like electronic music, you just like it because of the jazz harmonies."
2) Antemasque - Antemasque
I'm just in denial of the fact that we'll never get a new Mars Volta album.
1) The Phenomanauts - Escape Velocity
Of course I picked a local act that writes songs about spaceships and robots. My behavior could be predicted by simple algorithms.