Hello and Welcome to my Mission Statement

Part of growing up is confronting the facts of life, and the fact is that no one reads the Ozone Shack.  I mean, yes, there are people who read it, but, in the scheme of almost 7 billion people, it's, well, not very many at all.  (If I weren't blocked in China, I would have more readers, right?  Right?!?) Edit: I am not blocked in China anymore.  So, I have been trying to spread the message of the Ozone Shack by knocking on your door and asking if you would like a pamphlet and an awkward conversation about Jesus.  No, wait, that's Jehovah's Witnesses.  I've been trying to spread the message of the Ozone Shack by getting its name out there on the internet, and I realize that there is no real message of the Ozone Shack.

Oh wait, here comes the obligatory semi-relevant song lyric...

"I told you a million times how I love you

But honey your old fickle heart won't let me in

So I'll just relax here, with this glass of gin

And head for the ozone again"

-Commander Cody and His Lost Planet Airmen, "Lost in the Ozone"

It's about the future, sort of, it's about sci-fi, sort of, it's about music, sort of, it's about sports, sort of.  It includes stories from my life, it includes album reviews, it includes opinion pieces, it includes some fiction, it includes a lot of meaningless wordstuffs, and it includes way too many robots.  But as far as a target audience, it has none, and as far as a slogan, all I have is "Your guide to surviving and thriving in the future," which is not very descriptive as all I can tell you is that you should insulate your home with microwavable burritos, douse yourself with perfume to hide from zombies, and probably learn to speak binary.  01000110 01110101 01100011 01101011 01101001 01101110 01100111 00100000 01110010 01101111 01100010 01101111 01110100 01110011 00101110 00101110 00101110.

And despite my minuscule readership, I still, for whatever reason, think of myself as a legitimate writer and a legitimate blogger.  This is kind of like when I would run around the neighborhood as a kid convinced that I was  an army man fighting the Japanese in the Pacific, until my mom yelled at me because my grandpa actually did fight the Japanese in the Pacific and actually did become an alcoholic plagued with horrible night terrors as a result.  Or like how George W. Bush thought he was a cowboy.  Remember that?  We all had a good laugh about that one.

So the question remains, does the Ozone Shack need a focus, does it need a unifying message?  The only demographic I've really focused on is people age 5-500 who are literate, and even then, it's probably more enjoyable if you can't read it.

So I say, forget about a theme, forget about sloganeering, forget about selling a pretty package.  The Ozone Shack can be a freewheeling collection of everything - mindless ramblings, half-baked opinions, and horribly skewed observations.  It can be whatever I want, and I'll let it accumulate meaning or focus as it goes, and if it doesn't, then it will be all the better.  Screw hits, screw ad revenue, screw being taken seriously by the blogging community.  Because the Ozone Shack is a place where everyone can come to unwind in a crazy crazy future.

And you know, I think I just came up with something of a slogan.

See also: The Artistically Defining Moment of Self-Doubt

"I'm lost in the ozone again

I'm lost in the ozone again

One drink of wine, two drinks of gin

And I'm lost in the ozone again"