This is something that keeps me up at night. Seriously. Which food is the culinary equivalent of a certain band or artist? Here are some of the findings of my research:
Pearl Jam: LeftoversIt conjures up a variety of moods, all laced with either nostalgia or bitterness. Good music for being in a hurry, good for being sad and lonely, or when you just need some music that's in the fridge. The instrumentals sound more like classic rock, like yesterday when you had the energy and incentive to prepare good quality food, but Eddie Vedder's vocals sound more contemporary, like today, when you're just too damn tired to use anything but the microwave.
The Eagles: Turkey Sandwich w/ Avocado
A bland staple that everyone can agree upon, with a slight Californian flavor. Overplayed and available everywhere. I guess that by association, you could say that Don Henley is guacamole and that Joe Walsh is a steak and avocado sandwich.
Coheed and Cambria: Passover Sedar
It makes perfect sense if you know what the story behind it is, but if, like most of the world's population, you don't know why the hell you're supposed to eat bitter herb, unleavened bread, and a lumpy, fruit-and-nut paste. There are also many vague references to being the chosen one and to a very protracted journey home.
Beirut: Tabbouleh
Vaguely ethnic, and probably good for you.
Rise Against: Eggplant Phall
No animals were harmed in the making of this angry, angry food.
Kenny G: Straight Barbecue Sauce, Eaten With a Spoon
Try to eat a whole bowl of it, and you will have an awful experience. The first bite is tangy, has soul to it, and hints at potential, but after that, it's repetitive and disgusting.
Atari Teenage Riot: Boiled Boot Leather
It's not actually food, but you can eat it, just like Atari Teenage Riot is not music, but people still listen to it.
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