The Most Excellent Playlist for the Survival and Advancement of a Shipwrecked Spaceship Pilot

"Somebody is stranded light years from home
on a planet where people are not like his own
where they pay to be brainwashed and told what to see
and not many dare question authority"

-Joey Eppard, "Lay Down the Law"

I have crash landed on a reality that is very different from my own. No Spaceship and a head full of memories. I have been too tired to miss anyone. I have been too tired to think about anything either. In fact, I will be too tired to spell check. But I was able to get introspective for a few minutes last night.

I am disconnected from everything, except for the fact that I am still tired all the time. I get my clock cleaned daily and try to get as many calories and proteins as I can. There is a song playing that is enumerating the virtues of intenrcourse on one's birthday. There are people barfing in the street. I wake up for morning pratcie on Saturday and stumble out onto streets littered with beer cans and red cups. I run along cliffs that are on the edge of the world. If I squint hard enough I can see it, where the world actually ends. Maybe this place where I live is somewhat like how the world will end. Maybe the world will end in a fit of apathy when we all decide we would rather dance the night away and bathe our brains in alcohol so as to avoid thinking. Then the survivors will build shelters out of empty beer cans and have to figure out how to sell bread pre-sliced in the packaging all over again. Then they can work on circumnavigating the globe, getting a man on the moon, and getting rock-hard erections well into their twilight years, the three signs of a civilization that knows the meaning of progress.

I have no music of my own. Everyone else in this house likes Blink-182, so that is playing a lot. I get to hear songs about teenage angst which I can't really experience because I have both outgrown that and become too asexual and uncaring in my current situation to be able to experience. The point is that I am too tired to object to the fact that I am listening to Mark Hoppus' whiny voice while my quads spasm violently.

I have been talking to myself a lot. I feel like this is me trying to reason things and make sense of things which I am too tired to make sense of.

My life has no continuity and I love it. But there is one thing that I wish I had to string it together is my music. So what am I doing to stay sane as I recalibrate my mind to my new lifestyle? I am creating my macro-playlist, a mix tape for my sanity, if you will. Every time I think of a song I want to listen to, I write it down in a notebook. When I get my music back, I will make this playlist, and I suppose part of me will feel satisfied. Then I will be on to the next adventure in the Continuing Story of Spaceship Earth. But for now, I will eat my parmesan flavored goldfish and write down every song that gets stuck in my head.

Bagoom-tss!